Friday, September 23, 2011

An Enchanting Love Letter

I was studying in class 11th in Sarkari/bada school (Sarkari because it was funded by government and bada(Large/Big/Huge) because it was the largest school in my village). At the start of the session, tables and chairs were assigned to us. Within a month, or two, tables and chairs yah to langadi looli ho gayi yah fir allah miyan ko pyari ho gayi (were either handicapped or broken into pieces) and the remaining wooden pieces were thrown into junk yard. These wooden piece were used as fuel for warming hands and playing cards (favourite past time for teachers whereas at the same time intelligent children were busy creating more fuel to increase the time of these sessions) sessions in winters. 

Later few mats were assigned for sitting purposes. But there were not any respite for authorities. Our room was a wrestling room for street dogs so instead we enjoying it, dogs were more ecstatic. These dogs found warm place for resting after wrestling rounds. Along with rest, they use to demonstrate their frustration of losing on the mats. In frustration their sharpened teeth were used to perform skilled work of tearing and damaging the mats. Do not know how it helped them to win more competitions but their stupid actions provoked our teachers to leave our bumps exposed to cold floor as if we had torn the mats with our Dhoodh Ke Dant(Weak teeth). 
Winters had already started so we were compelled to sit either on cold floor which was cold enough to shiver us from bottom to top or on dusty ground, in the middle of school, which had few grass patches here and there. As each room was territory for different groups of dogs, So it was a general practice for each class to find its grass patch on the dust filled ground to accommodate all batch mates. In our batch we were approximately 30 people but we used to find a patch where 40 people could sit easily because 9 brahmin and astoundingly beautiful (given that we all were blind, hence prove all my girls batch mates were astoundingly beautiful) girls needed more place to maintain a considerable distance from untouchable bechara and ugly boys.

One such day, when sun was providing plenty of heat and wind was enough to shudder us; we were sitting under the tree shade on a grass bed and waiting for our late lateef adhyapak jee (Teacher who was never on time). But before our teacher could honour us with his presence, we saw few gundas(Bad people) rushing toward us. Before they could pollute Savitri(unpolluted) girls with their devilish presence, we moved toward them. Few of them, thinnest in group, were carrying hockey sticks and rest were holding bicycle chains. These folks were famous in entire village for their bike stunts in the crowded market place; for numerous girl friends and love sessions which were halted by girls' relative; and for fights. My dad had instructed me to keep a distance from such people, so I was last to reach the yudhbhumi. Two groups started confronting. I was searching for a known face among the intruders so that confrontation could be halted before producing unprecedented and unwanted results. I found one and due to my reputation, this fight was stopped. Girls were panicked and scared and were waiting for us. I rushed to disclose the breaking news; why miss a chance to talk to girls? :)

Till now I did not know the issue. This was the first incident where we were attacked by someone outside the class. It was shocking and disturbing. Our teacher came to the class and started abusing (with all sort of words) Chashmu, who was not even present in the class. I knew something is unusual but what?

After 15 minutes of Shlok Vachan(Slang session) we were deserted. I asked, could someone tell me what had happened?

Bandar told me that Chashmu gave a love letter to Chand. This letter was not a usual love letter. It was a special letter for which he spent 100 Rs, wow, 100rs was luxury in childhood, is not it? There was a Bangali tantric in our village that had few Sidhdhies and had controlled few witches. The tantric had spread some magic itra(rural scent) on the letter. Due to itra, this letter was an enchanting love letter. According to tantric baba, Chashmu should hand over the letter to the girl and the girl would follow all the orders (orders only - mind it) written in the letter.

A Letter Of Love

As per few speculations following were the content of the letter.

Priye Chand(Dear Chand),

Mein tumhe pyar karta hun, aur chahata hun ki tum bhi mujhe pyar karo. Shyam ko five baje ganne ke khet mein milo. ..... (I love you and I order you to love me as well. Meet me at sugarcane field at five in the evening and please do not worry I have arranged security as well.)


Somebody told me as soon as he gave the letter to her; there was a sound of powerful tamacha (slap on face.). Later Chand gave the letter to her brother and her brother was moved with the letter whereas the affects of the letter were damn opposite on the lover boy.  Chashmu was thrashed, beaten and dragged and after a session of one sided wrestling chashmu's condition was similar to a cloth washed at Dhobi-ghat.

Still you must be wondering who visited our school. I was also stunned to see these folks in school but sooner one more story unfolded. Chandu was Chand’s lover, and he came to teach the lesson to new age lover Chashmu. Arre yaar ham Mar gaye the kya. I did not know how to express myself?

Should I laugh on such stupid act or amuse on chashmu's courage? Before I could figure out my own stance, someone came running and shouting "Chandu has caught Chashmu and he and his friends are beating him". Instead of figuring out my stance, we all ran hard to save our friend.


  1. itna bade bade likhne ki bimari tujhe kab se lag gayi?

    main thoda confuse ho gaya ...chandu, chand, chasmu...itne similar names kyun rakhe?

    wo siddhi baba ka address milega kya? ;)

  2. Hahahaha, Itni choti umar me love letter? Ye to hona hi tha..

  3. @Kunnu Do not know, I have to start limiting my stories in lesser words. Actually these were the actual nick names except Chand.

    @Psycho He he he, I know that too a letter with such precise words. It was suppose to produce such outcomes only. :) given that gal was not desperate enough.