Pappu Ka Swayamvar

Pappu is my best friend since my school days. He always had crush on different girls at different times, but none of his crushes eyed him even once. Though these girls tormented, tortured, and pained him, but he never lost his hopes. He is still waiting for his perfect match, who can love him forever like a cow, who grazes grass 24*7 in an open field. Pappu will love her like a bull, who works 24*7. As Pappu is disappointed, so he has very important information to share with you all.

Hi Friends (Esp girls),

We always face problems to understand his, he who should not be named, wishes. Though his selected path does not suit us, but still we follow his path to save our asses from the mysterious electricity generated in the clouds. Now look at me, when I was desperate to fall in love with some girl, at that time he didn't create a single suitable girl for me. As if my love line, the most sensitive line on palm, got deleted while oiling my hairs.

Most of the times, I have seen these girls in my dreams talking about me. Oh babes, this man stinks. Let’s not go closer to him. But excuse me girls, I have used the same deodorant which made angles fall from the sky. How can I stink? You stupids! Have you not seen this advertisement yet? I was not brave enough to walk to them and force them to smell my deodorant, otherwise at least one or two girls would have dropped in my arms.

Oh no, he looks desperate. Let’s stay away from him. Desperate! are you out of your mind? Do not you see this awesome smile on my face?

I used to scream, cry, and plead with them to come closer and to embrace my dejected love, But these girls did not even pass a smile to me. An experienced man, even if he is married, was a preferable choice of boy friend over a fresh and energetic man like me.

Anyway after wandering in dejection for many years, I planned to stop my search for love. I pulled my strings and handed these strings to my parents. Probably parents are the best bet for children like us. Though I felt ashamed while delegating my responsibilities to them, but it increased my reputation in their mind. They were happy as their ward has not gone beyond the limitations imposed by monstrous society.

At the start, we received unbelievable number of responses which were quite unexpected to all of us. I didn't expect so many girls were dying to marry me, and their parents were waiting only for me. Though these girls didn't want show their love to me, but deep down inside they were in love with me. Lot of parents came and went. Few returned, but didn't revert back after hearing my Dad's demand. Very few, who returned again, gave me their daughter's numbers. Most of these girls loved my sense of humour, smartness, and intelligence, but due to inferiority complex their parents never tried to buzz my dad back.

With time I figured that there are very few girls who can match my caliber, and these girls have not met me yet. So before these girls are married to guys with lesser caliber, I planned to unearth them. I am writing this post to search for such a girl. I am conducting a Swayamvar to find my dream girl who can match me in intelligence, humor, and caliber.

I know, After reading my post you are already interested in me, but still you must know little more about me.

Name: Pappu Rangawat

Father's Name: No Need

Height: More than Abhishek Bachchan

Looks: Very white similar to wheat's flour, handsome like Tushar Kapoor and muscular.

Education: Highly Educated.

I want someone with good family background, cute as Karina Kapoor looked cute in chameli, sexy as Bipasa vasu, graduate from a national level institute, fair as cow's new born calf, and most importantly her father must be a millionaire.

Thank you very much for reading my profile. I hope to meet you at Swayamvar soon. Please do not forget to bring your father's income certificate.

Bye.

Aurangabad Trip -> Manjiri's Shadi - Day 2

Two days were passed within a blink of the eye and it was the third day of my small vacations. Day 3 started quite early. People woke me up at 7AM and none of the rooms were empty so I had to give my sweet sleep up. Though office's work was still troubling me (I do not have have much work in general but the week before my vacations was exceptional for me) but I had to care about more important things i.e. to get ready, have breakfast and if time permits then click few photos.

Vinay and Manjiri, who were looking magnificent in Marathi attires, were ready for to kick off the day. They were sitting next to the havan kund for the next round of Pooja.

The Bride.

Pandit Ji was chanting mantras. Along with his chanting, he was efficient enough to provide instructions, mostly in sign language, to the couple and the couple was following these instructions religiously. This mantro-uchcharan(chanting of the mantras) continued for four hours. Sitting in-front of nasty smoke for four hours was another incentive of marriage to the couple. Lot of rashms were completed in these hours but I could recall Mangal Sutra and pheres only.

Vinay is ready with Mangal Sutra. The Most important tradition of Hindu Marriages

After the pooja, couple took some rest before reception party. Reception took another 3 hours but even after in visible pain and tiredness both of them handled and welcomed all relatives and friends in enthusiastic manner. Neither Manjiri nor Vinay showed even one ounce of frustration or pain in standing at stage for so long.

Manjiri and Vinay@Reception

After the reception ceremony guests had the lunch and there were few more customs before calling the day off. After another short break, the tired couple was on the roll again. It was time for Kanya-Dan (Where all the relative of the girl release themselves from her responsibilities and delegate those responsibilities to her husband).

Kanyadan process

Kanya-dan was lengthier than kanya-dan in north Indian marriages. Once the Kanya-Dan was over, it was time for the girl's departure i.e. Vidai which, I think, is the saddest part of a marriage. ( In my childhood I always had one question, why does girl need to go? Why can't the guy can stay with the gal's family? Ham bhi khush vo bhi khush.) Everyone was heart broken and had wet eyes but none had the powers(rights now :) ) to stop Manjiri. After saying good bye to each and every one Manjiri and rest other baratis boarded the bus and left. We folks collected our stuffs and traveled back to home. This is how I spent my third day of my vacations, starting the day at high and ending it at low.

Next day was scheduled for Ajanta and Ellora Caves and my return to NCR.

A comparison between Changing Job and Finding Biwi

Interview is a process to judge the capabilities of an individual/group. An interview, an Interaction among two or more individuals, provides an opportunity for the interviewers to assess the caliber of the interviewee. Though this assessment might base up on different criterion but final judgment communicates the perception of interviewer regarding interviewee's capabilities with respect to the new responsibilities. During the same interview process the interviewee also creates his perception about future prospects. So F2F interview provides a fair chance to both the sides to decide their future path.


Oops, where am I heading and do not know why did I leave this philosophy/gyan shit stinking the post? Dude I am not going to dictate "10 AGELESS PRINCIPLES TO SUCCEED IN AN INTERVIEW". We all have faced it and we all work to overcome the shortcomings of previous interviews while preparing for the next. I am here to talk about the two unavoidable and important categories of interview e.g., Job and Marriage interviews.


These two types have a lot of similarities and lot of differences with each other. Both of these interviews have affects prior and later to the interview. For better results every interview needs a specific preparation beforehand, whereas a successful interview leads to the surges of unwanted events and scary consequences.


As I was saying, for both the interviews we need to prepare in a different manner. For Job interview mug up fundamentals of one language which may be either Java, C, C++ or others, Learn something more to show other areas where you might have worked for an hour throughout your career e.g., Ant, Maven, You must learn to lie because interviewer asks "Why do you want to join us?" and believe me they will kick your ass out if you tell them the truth and last but not least mug up some stupid company information e.g., Who was the last CEO of the company and what was his most recent achievement (When I heard this question, I thought did he something similar to Mark Hudd, HP CEO, caught red handed with his secretary)? Preparations for the marriage interviews are different.  Call your dad/mom and ask him/her answer of all the already compiled questions. Visit to nearest and costliest parlour and try to put lot of cream to make your face fairer which might in turn increase your cost in marriage market. Go to cheapest saloon to get new hair style so that no one can recognize you if they have seen you whistle before. You need to learn the fake smile, gals have to learn to wear high heal sandals and sometime sarees as well, learn to speak truth (;) Optional, as people say "Har rishta Sachchai ki Neev par khada ho to jyada acha hai") and nod for all the answers like do you know cooking, sewing and stupider stuff. After such extraordinary preparations you cannot fail in any of the interview.


After giving so many job interviews and marriage I could list down few of the similarities and differences between both. First effect of successful job Interview is the starting of career, on the same line first successful marriage interview starts another life. Job interview makes you a slave for an organization whereas after marriage you wag the tail in-front of your spouse. Slavery to an organization makes you richer every last day of month whereas slavery to spouse makes you poorer every day. :(


Even if you choose wrong organization, you can try again to find another job but after marriage there are no chances of changing the decision or finding the new guy/gal again. Among of the few of the seen scenario one scenario is this. If you are divorcee and you are searching for a gal then all the aunties in city will gather in a temple to gossip about you.
Aunt 1 - Haaaaaaaaaa, Kaisa Jamana aa gaya hai? (See the world!!!!!!!!)
Aunt 2 - Haaaannnn, Dekho na, Arkit ne pehli biwi ko 3 saal pahle hi talaak diya hai n fir se ladki dhundh raha hai? (Arkit divorced his wife just 36 months before and he is again searching for a gal?)
Aunt 3 - Biwi to sundar thi Arkit ki (His wife was beautiful.)
Aunt 4 - Maarta bahut tha Arkit use. (Arkit used to hit her.)
Though Arkit and his wife were split as their love was more for their colleague than each other’s but these aunties proved Arkit a devil and made sure he would die without marrying again. Top of that they could comment ludicrously on his Dhalti Jawani.


Beside If you divorce at your own will, then you have to pay half of your money; hard earned money.


Next common thing between both is Role of mediator. Most of Job Interviews are arranged by Consultants whereas relatives assist in marriage interview. At the time of Job Interview, you wish consultant (If she is hot) should sit next to you whereas at marriage interviews you wish to sit alone with the girl. Consultants cannot change the course of Job Interviews but relatives can change the complete equations. They can affect your decision, dowry, and many other related things. Basic and most important fact comes later. After six months of job consultants call you back to ask if I mind changing my job again where as Relatives do not even mind calling you ever in life.


Both the interviews start with the same question. Tell me something about yourself. You can choose either to answer it or to shoot a question back. What should I tell (Sometimes I think to ask back; well do not you have CV with you?)? In Job interviews this would mean to elaborate your professional experience whereas in marriage interviews it would mean to tell your height, your size, your weight and exact birth date including seconds and mili-seconds along with location of birth with labor room report in details.


In both interviews selection criterion is salary. Salary decides final payment at both places. If you are fetching good salary then you will attract less number of employers willing to employ you whereas you will attract more number of parents willing to choose. Job interview will be more drilling to validate your worthiness whereas guardians instantaneously will acknowledge the worth of money. Along with that Private employers do not want to employ government employee so easily whereas parents looking for security worth government employee over private IT software engineers.


Both the places you will fail if you start arguing. "Interviewer is always right so do not argue with him" is the dumbest but most effective rule of interview. I try finding reason behind this saying. My research suggests In Job interview it is followed to make sure new employee should not change existing rules and regulations and in some time he will forget his own rules where as in marriages, couple should be taught to refrain from discussion to induce longevity in so called happy married life.


Both interviews provide the chance of choosing. You can have 4-5 jobs at a time and later deny all but one. But in case of spouse, you do not have the option of engaging with 4-5 gals/guys and choose one later. If it would have been possible than Life would have been much easier. I would have been searching for spouse for last seven years ;).


As I am novice to marriage interview business, so i might have missed few of the important points but I will try adding more as my experience nurtures with time. As I was saying there are lots other after effects of interviews. Do not you think those are obvious to envision? After marriage, guys just listen and girls speak whereas after joining the company, employer sucks your blood and you crib about employer's blood sucking techniques.


That is all I could find about interview e.g., Job and marriage. I know there are folks who are more experienced than I. Let's share and make the world more livable ;) ;)

Aurangabad Trip - Manjiri's Shadi - Day 1

Ashish called to inform Manjiri's, his younger sister, marriage date has been fixed. Wow it was a great news. I knew Manjiri in pictures and on chat but we had not met face to face. I was happy not only for her but also for two other reasons. Her marriage not only gave me opportunity of a vacation from boring office work but also gave me chance to meet lot of known people with unknown faces. So even before Ashish's formal invitations my plans were set from June 16th to June 19th.

First I planned to book flight tickets (Did not book for first 23 days and later it was too much to afford), later I decided to go with three tier AC(Indian Railways, carries millions of people across India but leaves millions behind as well) and finally I managed to get a sleeper class ticket. I was happy as I was going out of city after a long time. I boarded the train and settled myself. Within few minutes, malodorous smell started overpowering my thoughts but that smell was just a matter of few hours because one needy couple exchanged their seat with mine. So the rest 20 hours were away from smell and less painful due to my stock of magazines and books.


I got down on Chalisgaon and from there I took a state transport to reach Aurangabad ( What a tiny city, does not even have a junction. Shhhh). Reached Ashish's house at one o'clock in the night. I hoped for a nice and warm welcome from my new and old friends but hopes make man lazy... Instead of asking me to rest, I was asked to help in creating a pictorial for Manjiri. Shhh, kaise kaise dost hai mere. All of us put lot of efforts and these efforts resulted in a pictorial which was liked by everyone.

Pictorials which has all memories related to Manjiri

Next day started with Haldi Rashm (Turmeric program). According to Ayurveda, turmeric augments the skin's glow and in ancient time beauty parlour options were not available with brides so this tradition stuck to our marriages ;) (Haldi Rashm is one of main traditions in north as well). So Bride and bride's parents faces were colored with turmeric by aunts and other relatives whereas we all painted our faces without much assistance.

All of us with the color of turmeric

After coloring all, it was time to showcase the enhanced beauty. Bride and uncle/aunt were the honorable guest, so they were given wooden stool to sit and all senior ladies cooperated to rub their turmeric but we were left stranded ;).

Royal Bath

Above mentioned behaviour was not taken so lightly(Hee hee hee, I bet it was not :P) and unexpected idea clicked to one beast. That small idea turned out to be a devil act for 2 complete hours. We all wanted to give a royal bath to everyone so all of us took responsibility and opened the water tank which had at least 8000L clean water. First we took bath then all male member of the family were given water treat and at last all ladies met with the same fate. There was water all over the house except the kitchen and water tank with 8k L capacity, was now empty. Our satanic act was synchronized with awesome sangeet given by Shahnai Vadaks in the picture.

Musicians

After an unprecedented and extended session of Haldi, it was time for Chudi (Bangles). Manjiri had to chose bangles of a fix color and wear them as a marriage token but Madam was more interested in talk than concentrate on picking up the right set for her :).

Phone nahi mila baad mein tooo Manjiti ka kya hoga

Next was chalk (In north it is called as Chalk), where ladies taught her, how to grind wheat using grinding stone. I do not think this tradition signifies anything anymore.

Manjiri Learning tricks of the Trade.

Then she finished a few other customs and was asked to rest from all the tiring activities of the day. But her Aai and Baba were still involved in Pooja, which took more than 2 hours to complete.

Pooja's Material

There was plenty of time before actual ceremony so few of us went for shopping and eating. There I met one Marwadi bhai while buying a Pooja lamp. During the bargaining session he disclosed his native location. Even though we related so closely, Rajasthani Rajasthani Bhai Bhai, he did not give any more discount (700 Rs discount on 2200). On this shopping spree I got little more essence of Aurangabad and marathi cachories ;).

In Maharastra marriage is a two days affair. Both sides stay in the ceremony hall overnight and ceremonies go till first late night and complete in the next afternoon. People at bride side have to welcome the people from other side So we all packed our bags and marched to marriage hall. All the arrangements were checked and completed. Barat reached at the venue at 7PM. All the ladies, standing at gate for hours, were eager to welcome Dulhe Raja but Dulhe Raja was most comfortable in the bus. But finally the wait was over and he got off the bus :(

Show-Man

As soon as Mr. Vinay stepped out, ladies attacked him with their Pooja Thalis. After the warm welcome, light snacks were arranged which was followed by dinner. Dinner was a nice photo sessions for us.

Manjiri n Vinay waiting for their dinner and posing for photographers i.e. me

Whole Nautakni party with 2 elements missing Ashish n ..

Ashish got some time from his busy schedule

After the dinner it was long session for different sorts Poojas, Rashams and activities. Manjiri decided to wear South Indian attire for this night. She was getting ready where as Dulhe Miyan was waiting for Manjiri to join him in Mantap. Manjiri was looking pretty in south Indian sari and make up.

Manjiri: Mausiiii Something is missing

After her make up she came to mantap and took her place next to Vinay. Now you wonder why was Vinay so impatience to see her?

Here is our pretty gal.

After this I lost track of events because my camera's battery was over and everything was quite a family affair. Manjiri and Vinay were surrounded by all important relatives near the Agni. After hours of Pooja sessions, the day one came to an end at 1 o'clock in the night. It was quite a tiring and long day for each individual. But it was nice fun to be part of such a nice family and marriage.

I am sure I can not finish the entire shadi in one page so I will pause here and start the second day in next page.

Ghoda Ki Shadi

One month back, Sidharth Gaurav Nayak aka Ghoda called to announce that he is tying the knot. Ghoda is first from computer group to tie the knot. I was happy because as per the expectations I was one to marry first but it was him, victim of traditions. Apart from this I was happy with the thought of attending a marriage after 8 years…

Time passed and it was 1^st July. Tickets to Bhubneswar were booked. We shopped a little. Gaurav bought couple of shirts and one Kurta, the amusing fact about kurta was it had 50 odd shiny stars and 20 odd sparkling Moons.

2^nd July morning, everything was on track, we reached airport and deported to BBW and after few hours we landed … Ghora, who claimed to have booked the cab to pick us up, told us to get a cab for hotel… kamin sala. After a short journey, all of us were there in a hotel room chatting about present, future and unforgettable past.

It was Nikasi time; all drinkers and nondrinker were out in open in front of Ghodi that Ghoda was riding. Our dance steps, which were undiscovered till now, were not funny at all…JJ I remember trying Nagin dance though it was not successful enough. I wonder why not Bollywood choreographers include those steps in their choreography. Sidharth Gaurav Nayak had confused smile on his face, I do not know was he happy for a companion who will bear him for life time or unhappy for losing the freedom. Being the selfish bump, I dint care much about his state, I kept dancing and enjoying the moments…

Time of Jaymala, bride tried hard to put the garland in the right neck (Ghoda’s neck) whereas for ghoda the task was little easier than fetching a cock from a cage. We took some snaps with smiling couple. Now it was time for dinner so we left the blessed couple behind to spread more smile and headed toward dinner tables.

There were vendors trying to finish their stalls as soon as possible. There were numerous options but best was Gulab Jamun. I reached to the stall and asked for one, guy asked me Bhaiya lo, and

TRIN TRIN TRIN….

Oh it was my alarm and I was still sleeping… It was 7.30 AM and flying time is 11. As I found it is little early to get up so took nap for few more minutes. Few minutes were not hostile. But Cost of our extreme laziness was 2 hours and we started at 9.30… Now it was the race with time and it was extremely difficult to keep the pace with it. Gaurav hired Meru cab and cab started at 10.00 from Dairy Circle. All hopes of winning were replenished but sooner Mr. Driver suggested it will take atleast an hour to reach the airport… What?

Bhaiya, Mera flight hai@11.05... Sir mein try karta, 5 minute pahle pahunchte 11o’clock. Now environment was little tense but I was calm. According to me Mr. Driver was trying smart, he was keeping little time in case of unprecedented events. Our cab was speeding; speeding beyond the permissible limit toward airport whereas warning to slow it down was ignored couple of times…

As promised we reached at 5 to 11.00AM. I rushed to the check-in counter. I still had hopes and banged at Kingfisher counter.

Your flight has departed… what? Departed? What are you talking about? There are 10 minutes left. Can’t you do something? Sir I can reschedule your tickets for tomorrow… Tomorrow? What will I do tomorrow? Will ghoda remarry tomorrow for me? Sir nothing is possible, please leave the way for others… thank you very much…

From the incident I learnt, every unsuccessful attempt is synonymous to never tried as I could not convince anyone that I missed the flight.